Sometimes I wonder about the purpose of life. Sometimes I wonder about what I’m doing here right now. Not just in the long run but…right now. This very second. I’m sitting in my room, looking over my bookshelves.
No, no I’m not.
That’s just what I think I’m doing. That’s only what I appear to be doing. Really I’m thinking. Thinking about life. Thinking about purpose. Thinking about my purpose.
As much as it may look like it, I’m not reading the spines of the various books on my shelves. The assortment of different-sized spines, staring at me, beckoning to me. So I’m a bibliophile.
But I’m not comprehending any of the words. I stare but everything seems so foreign.
It’s because I’m thinking.
But I said that already, didn’t I? I guess it doesn’t really matter. You have to figure that a person thinks so much every day, every hour, every minute…it’s okay to think the same things twice sometimes.
So where was I?
Oh yeah, thinking. Life, universe, purpose, happiness. All that good stuff. People probably think about it every day. I know I do.
But why is that? Every day, the same thing…why don’t we get tired of it?
Never mind, I’m getting off track again. I wonder what I’m doing right now. Not this literal second, but…the here and now. I work for people who do not understand me and treat me biasedly. My co-workers and even the customers try to put me and my beliefs down.
I’ve thought about quitting, you know. You’re probably thinking I should. Maybe I should.
No, wait, I’ve been down that road before. I’ve thought long and hard about it – heck, one time I was about two seconds away from actually doing it. And I decided I wouldn’t. At least not yet.
But now I’m deciding again. It’s frustrating, really. But what are you going to do?
No, I decided I wouldn’t do that. Because I don’t just give up, do I? Or at least I shouldn’t, should I?
Then again, I wonder if you can even call it giving up. It’s not like I’m fighting for anything. I’m just trying to get by, have a good time, get along with others, and keep my beliefs.
But that’s not working out so well. So why do I stay? Well, I’m not completely alone. Sure, it’s a hundred to one, but there’s five-hundred people. That means there’s five of me. Er, people like me.
I stay for them. I still do have a good time – with them. I still do get along with others – them. And I still do keep my beliefs – with them.
So I stay. Because I’ve made a commitment to them. I vowed to myself that I would stay loyal to them. If I quit, I’m not doing that.
Yeah, I’ll stay.
So what about the purpose of life?